Beauty tips
Crow's feet
Did you know that the majority of expensive anti-ageing creams are nothing more
than the cheapest of cheap moisturisers. But sometimes it's extremely comforting
and empowering to waste a large amounts of money on a totally useless product.
Lipstick
It is often said by government ministers, that lips are the one area where you
can really splash out with colour. Choose from shades of pink, pink and pink.
Some ranges offer bright fuchsia and scarlet however, treat these with care
as fierce colours can be ageing. Just look at Tony Blair.
Blush
A top secret government report reveals that after many seasons on the sidelines
blusher is finally making a comeback. Although this is great news, our advice
is to use it sparingly and keep it natural, hard lines are most definitely out.
OUT!
Exfoliate?
Legs are particularly susceptible to dry skin, especially after shaving, but
many pigs complain that applying cream depilatories is an extremely messy business
and is best left to an experienced mechanic.
Marilyn Manson
A top secret government study reports that last season's goth look favoured
by many fat pigs, deathly pale face and jet black lipstick, is now officially
OUT. And that's offal.
Split ends?
We perm it, we colour it, and we expose it to the elements, yet will are still
expected to keep it in the very best condition all year round. However, our
advice is to resist the calls of the beauty police because we all know it's
just going to end up as some gentleman's shaving brush.
